Marriage

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bY0fdgpISc&list=RD_bY0fdgpISc#t=39

If you didn't copy and paste that url in your browser, it's a funny  part of "the Princess Bride" when the priest talks of Marriage, or as he says, Mowage!

I know there are many women out there that want the story book marriage. I wanted it too. We all grow up with the same fairy tales of women being kissed and saved by the handsome prince. We are led to believe that 'we will live happily ever after'....but the truth is, Life itself is hard and sometimes not very happy.

I was married 3 times. Does that make me a bad person? No...that makes me a woman that made some choices that maybe weren't so smart.  My first husband was abusive and was in love with Jim Beam more than me.  I tried and tried, stayed in it for 15 years and became extremely depressed. I finally gave up on my dream....and moved on. I had 3 children with him.  Being a single parent sucked. I was also working ( and making good money) but I was exhausted all the time and it was tough to shoulder all the responsibilities of a big house. So out of desperation, (which you should NEVER base a decision on) I married my second husband.  he was in love with his mother more than me.  And out of respect for the child we had together, I will say no more.  Our marriage was short and not sweet at all.    Now, I have been married to Clayton for 11 years. We have been together longer. Our life is good and through the good and bad times we stick together. It's like being in an elite club. There are secrets that we alone know. There are things we do not discuss with other people and there is an allegiance that goes beyond everything.

Marriage vows are really quite sad when you think about it. You are promising to love a person when they are sick, poor, and stupid, until death. And believe me, ALL OF THOSE THINGS will happen. The trick is, to see if your partner keeps trying. Does your partner do the same dumb things over and over, or does he graduate to a higher level of thinking? Boundaries need to be set and not crossed.

I really don't think there is a perfect recipe for marriage. I think there needs to be basic things.....
Compassion, respect, understanding, and the most important thing......it is better to be KIND than be RIGHT.     And all those things together is what makes up this wonderful thing called LOVE......

so when women come into my shop and say that their marriage has failed....that does not mean that they themselves are a failure. It just means that something didn't click. Someone didn't stick to the plan or someone gave up. But none of those things makes either one  a horrible person. My ex es are not bad people. They didn't click with me. They were not right for me. We did not bring out the good in each other. So ladies, don't get down about 'finding the right one'.....just let life flow. Open your hearts...but at the same time, open your eyes too....  

Rose Ellen Moore
www.rcmooreunique.com
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