My message for women today is a very simple thing. Do not give anyone permission to hurt you or discourage you. Do not give anyone permission to treat you as a doormat. Do not accept people into your life who do nothing to value your life. Your job is to know your worth and to act accordingly. Do not rule your life by emotions based on other peoples' rejection of you. YOU know YOU. YOU make sure that you love YOU.
I am saying these things because someone said a hateful hurtful thing to me the beginning of this week which actually sent me to my bed. I literally could not get out of bed. It crippled me to my very bone. This person that said this was surprising to me. I never thought this person would hurt me. I was not only saddened, but shocked beyond belief. It was unbelievable to me that someone who cared about me could actually cripple me with words. The only reason why I was crippled was because I ALLOWED this person to make me feel this way. I allowed this person to take away all of my value as a person.
If someone bullies you and calls you dumb, it's because they fear being dumb themselves. If someone tells you that you are a turn off it's because they have something wrong with them! if someone says you are ugly or fat, it's only because THEY want to be YOU! There are many people out there with many different problems. We need to practice compassion and understanding with these people. But understand, their problems are THEIRS and you cannot fix them. THEY have to fix THEMSELVES.
It is sinful for one woman to tear down another woman. It's equally as sinful and even more so for a man to degrade or tear down a woman. I would like to say to the 7 women who were sitting at the Perkins Restaurant in Bethlehem PA, THANK YOU for making me the subject of your conversation a few nights ago. I feel honored that you made little ole me your sole subject for the evening. All the laughs that you had at my expense did not hurt me. They made me feel sorry for you because you did little or nothing to even hide your bad manners. I didn't know if it was because my husband and I are an interracial couple or if it was because I was wearing a black and white outfit complete with fringed boots. Whatever the reason, I take pride in what I wear and try very hard to present myself in the best way possible. Your opinion of me..all 7 of you...did not matter at all. If you don't like my taste, I would suggest to acquire some. But I do want you women to know, that if you would come into my shop, you would be treated with the utmost respect and I would help you dress in the style that you like and what is appropriate for your body type. Because, unlike you, I was raised to respect everyone and lift up other women.
This blog is not written to vent or to tear other women down. This is proof that even when we graduate from school and we have been all through the silly relatioship issues that we had way back in the day. Still, when we are grown, we still bully and do stupid, hateful things to hurt other people just because they are different from us. Why? I am sure that if there is life on another planet, they are surely looking at us shaking their heads, asking why we cannot just live and let live. There is a song sung by Bette Midler that says, "God is watching Us...from a distance.." yes..He is. Sadly watching as we tear each other down for the color of our skin, our culture, our beliefs and all for nothing.
Now Valentine's Day is in February, and we are going to spend trillions of dollars buying Valentines to profess our love to our husbands, friends or significant others. Why don't we forego the card and actually practice loving those people and actually practice kindness and tenderness? I think people would be completely shocked. We are so used to buying a card saying goopy sweetness, and yet doing something completely opposite.
No matter what other people do, the only thing that we can do is control ourselves. We cannot control the actions of other people. And so in closing I will suggest to everyone, man or woman. Do NOT allow anyone to take away your worth. Do NOT allow anyone to make you feel insignificant and small. All of us in our own way are important in whatever contribution we can give to this world. In the words of Viola Davis in the movie 'The Help'....YOU ARE KIND< YOU ARE SMART< YOU ARE IMPORTANT....I AM!
Rose Ellen Moore